I don't know anything

What do you know? You don't have the credentials for this. You have never been to school for this kind of thing. I know all of your weaknesses, who do you think you are fooling? How can you tell people this stuff when you are so far from perfect?

These are all things that I heard this week. Earlier, I mentioned the quiet whisper of God and I realized that there is another small voice that I often hear. However, these things are not supportive, encouraging or loving. They are destructive, debilitating and crushing.

Throughout our lives, we hear many different voices talking to us. Parents, grandparents, teachers, friends, spouses, bosses, the media, the enemy. While most of these voices mean well, they may (or do) tell us things that are hurtful.

It is so easy to hear things and accept them as truth.

Now that I think about it, the things above are true. I don't have the credentials to write this blog. I don't have the education to interpret the things of God. I am not good enough on my own to direct people down the path of Jesus.

Don't listen to me... What do I know?

Looking back over my previous posts, I am the one who needed to hear these things the most. These are the things that God was speaking to me. These are the lessons that I needed (and still need) to learn.

So, what do I do with those bad whispers?

Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live! Deuteronomy 30:19 (NLT)

I have a choice to make. 

I can quit writing. I can go back to my shelter, where my life was hidden. I can stop sharing my story, my struggle, my experience. I lived there for a long time. It was comfortable and it is not that far from here.

Or.

I can continue down this unknown path. Through my lack of education, I can continue to share. I can tell you about my ups and my downs. Perhaps they will help you, perhaps they are only helping me.

Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years, to humble and test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. Deuteronomy 8:2

I know that God is leading me. There are things that I have written that I know did not come from me. He has placed things on my heart and at times I feel I will burst if I don't write them down and share. I pray every time, before I write a word. Please God, let these be your words and not mine.

Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him.  It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.” 1 Corinthians 1:26-31

Today, dear friends I am boasting in the Lord. It is Him and not me! I am foolish, weak and lowly. He is all knowing and all loving. These are things I will never be. But, I will choose to be obedient!

Lord, I thank you for being good all the time. Thank you for always knowing what is best for me. I am nothing without you. Thank you for teaching me, for encouraging me and for leading me. I seek to serve you as Jesus served. I love you and I give you all that I am, even in my weakness. Amen.